Reasons To Be Cheerful

While staring at a monitor, having a meeting about the image displayed, and listening to my lead talk about something, a strong voice penetrated the fog in my brain. With short sharp bursts, it said "QUIT YOUR JOB, QUIT YOUR JOB, QUIT YOUR JOB". To which I replied, "are you insane? I need this job, haven't had one in months, need money so badly, finally got a good movie with the best company in Oz, I'm not going." Yet, throughout the day, and the days that followed, the voice persisted in its short sharp bursts: "QUIT YOUR JOB, QUIT YOUR JOB, NO MISTAKE, YOU WILL BE FINE, STOP BEING SCARED, TIME TO CHANGE, QUIT YOUR JOB..."

To be honest, despite the good job, good people, and good experience, I was very unhappy. I was even more unhappy than the last time I took a long-term job in Sydney. Here I was again, alone, living in an expensive share, sleeping in a crappy noisy room that had bright lights shining in it all night from the street, and working in a sea of guys, younger and single. I realized that I am now part of a migrant labor force, going wherever the work is, despite my relationship and my health. And I have decided that it is wrong, and I won't do it anymore. Well, at least not for more than 3 months. I was supposed to be in Sydney until the end of January, but I left last Friday. And now I am back in Brisbane, with Darcy, in our hot little house full of lamps, and I feel a lot better about life.

It was pretty hard to decide to quit. I almost didn't do it. The fact is I like my work, but I like it when I work 8 hours a day, and go home at the end of it. I also like it when I have people I like there to work with that I can talk to. I also like it when I know at the end of the day, I will get to see my husband. After much contemplation, I finally said to Darcy, "I am thinking I should quit my job. Would you like it if I did?" He replied, "Yes, I would love it." So I did. I was offered more money to stay, and Darcy said to me that he wanted me home, and I decided that was more important, in the end. Why else am I married?

I did like the people I was working with, but the fact is I am becoming an old lady in my field. I no longer am working with my peers. Most people my age have now moved up to a more supervisory or management position (no thanks), or they have started their own companies (crazy), or if they are women, they have had babies and have stopped working in the field or have moved into office jobs, like recruiting (not creative!!!). Now I am working with people who are in their mid-twenties to early thirties, single with a girlfriend/boyfriend here and there, who tend to date people they work with because we work so much. Everyone was great, very skilled and friendly, but the social dynamics have really changed for me now that I am older and married, and I don't drink as much as I used to. I don't want to and I simply can't anyway!

But toward the end of my time I did meet a few really cool people that I know I will see again, and we will be friends. Mainly, a woman who is 2 years younger than me, but is marrying a guy she works with who is 9 years younger than she is. She has done many things before being a compositor, and is really smart. I dug her. I also met a guy who is dating a girl from MY HOME TOWN, and is a friend of my little brother. That is nothing short of weird weird weird!

Both of these people are inspiring , motivating individuals. They made me realize that if I want to do something, I should just do it. And they both said as much to me. It is fantastic to meet people like that.

There were other things that I appreciated during my stay in Sydney, like the people who worked at the cafe on the lot, always happy, so calm and friendly anytime of day, and the cafe I would have breakfast in on the weekends, small and inviting and chatty, calling everyone "darl" (doll).

Also, I managed to kick the coffee habit. It took a couple of weeks, and a LOT of green tea at first, but now I am free. In the morning, no matter how tired I am or if I had a beer too many, I wake up and feel alive, which I didn't feel before. It is great.

I luckily have a month of work up here, and then I don't know what. But it will all be fine. I am happy to be home, Darcy is happy I am home, and we both think there are new and better things to come.