American Woman, Stay Away From Me

People in Australia are friendly towards Americans. They don't spit on them. They don't flip you the bird when they hear you speak. And they don't wave banners that say "Yankee Go Home". I have been accepted here. I still get and will always get shit for being American though, and have to good-naturedly sit and listen to co-workers and friends of my husband laugh about Americans. I can take it. I know we're not all that. Sometimes I get tired of it though, as if my presence doesn't count, like episodes of CSI and COPS are a more honest valid insight into the USA than the person who is real, sitting next to them, drinking coffee and laughing at their jokes. It seems the US is nothing but a bunch of fat, gun-toting Jesus freaks, hell bent on violence and plastic surgery, and everyone has piles of money in their pockets, except people in "the hood". Many of the Australians I have encountered hate us but love us, lapping up US TV shows and movies and video games and celebrities and fashion labels and lingo and music. A few people have talked down to me about our government, forgetting that the Australian government is as Conservative and greedy as ours, and loves our president. Australia is quite hard on asylum seekers, and has introduced a test to people wanting citizenship that questions how well they understand the "Australian way of life". I meet lots of people here who don't agree with the what the Government does, but they don't take responsibility for it, or feel somehow hypocritical for their sentiments about the people in the USA.

I met an Englishman about a month ago who said to me when he found out I was from the United States, "I must confess I don't have much time for Americans." He was in the British Army some time ago, and went on to tell me about how Britain was so great and the US wasn't because we didn't conquer lands with the style and discreetness of the British. The other night I met a Swiss guy who told me he wished the US people were more angry about what was happening in the world, and how we weren't smart about Iraq - with all of our nuclear weapons, why didn't we just bomb the place instead of sending troops? So much smarter, eh?

I have given you a paragraph synopsis of spiels that were 10, 20, 30 minutes long, in which I was in a situation where I could have argued, been angry, made the person angrier, and had an endless argument that would make the non-American feel ever more justified for taking out their feelings about the United States on me, and me just wanting to move back to the US and telling anyone else I meet to fuck off. With the Englishman, I just let him talk, and with the Swiss guy I just said in the end, "I'm sorry, I can't do anything for you."

Everyone has an opinion about the US, and as an American you discover that for many you are not a unique person worth getting to know , but more of a verbal punching bag for people. People disconnect themselves from their governments, but you are a direct extension of yours, whether you voted for your president or not. I would like to let things roll off me, but so far they haven't, I get really angry, because most of these people haven't been to the US, and if they have they take the one place they've been to to represent the whole damn place.

Do I do this? Eh, I probably do. But I don't recall getting angry at anyone because of their government. I did get into a big argument once with the son of the Republican Party whip, and afterward I felt bad because I knew he wasn't his father. He did tell me though that he thought most people in the US could afford healthcare, and that's when I got irate.

Since I have been in Australia, I have met more religious people than I did at home. I have seen many fat and obese people. I have seen lots of people getting absolutely shit-faced in the day and in the night. I have seen parents being abusive to their kids, people throwing their garbage on the ground, people driving huge SUVs, people obsessed with their gadgets, watching sports, shopping, and eating McDonalds. People here say "fuck" more than I have ever heard before, and "cunt" is an accepted thing to say to people and in place of saying "damn" or "shit". 1 in 8 women in Australia has been a victim of violence in an intimate relationship. And I have met people who tell me they have or will vote for John Howard solely on the fact that he promises not to raise interest rates.

All this is to say I get tired of people giving me shit for being from the US. Many countries are guilty of many bad things. It doesn't mean that everyone from a given country agrees with their government. I need to learn more patience. But I get pissed off, because these people that go on their tirades with me think they are better than me, and initiate hostility because they want an opportunity to voice their opinion or theory and try to make me feel bad, because for them it is a way of teaching the United States a lesson.

I get mad at what happens in the world, and I react to it, but do I actually have a vision for the world? What if we stopped being angry and smug at social gatherings, and thought about what would be good, and work towards that? We have to get along with people around us, whether we agree with them or not, before that can work on a larger scale. Joe Jackson said you can't get what you want till you know what you want. If we don't stop and think about what we want for the world, then how will we know what we want to do?

Anyway, I get a lot of shit for being American, whether I am the nicest person in the world or the grumpiest. Australians suffer from "tall poppy syndrome", and if they suspect that you may be doing well, or that you're happy, or that maybe you're not every cliche or bad idea they have of an American, they try to bring you down to their idea of where you should be, which is always a bit lower than wherever you're at. I'm not going to let them. I'll be a tall poppy when I feel like it. As long as I have the freedom to be who I am, I need to take it. It's one of the most important freedoms both Australia and the US have.

That's all for now.

Birds Are Bad

It's springtime in Australia. That means the spiders are again building elaborate webs, the jasmine is in bloom, and the days are returning to being freakin' hot.

I'm trying to be healthy, eating better, and getting exercise. I am going to the gym 3x a week, in the morning, early before work. I ride my bicycle to the gym and home.

We have 3 main types of birds flying around here: Crows, Magpies and Myna Birds. The Myna birds are small and vicious. They are sly and relentless scavengers, so if you are at an outdoor cafe, watch your food. The crows are loud, but they never seem to bother with people. Same with the Magpies. I have heard that they are tough though. The will fiercely fight amongst themselves, peck their fellow species to death, and protect their nests from anything - and anyone.

I was riding my bike home from the gym Friday morning, and a Magpie swooped down over me. I thought nothing of it, as sometimes birds just fly a bit low. It swooped down again, and it hit my helmet. It freaked me out, but I figured if I rode on the other side of the road, the bird would stop. I crossed the road, but the bird followed me and swooped again, and really pecked my helmet. My heart was pounding. Those Magpies have big ass beaks. I got off the bike and took off the helmet, prepared to wack the thing when it swooped again. But it stopped. I walked my bike the rest of the way home, scanning the skies with my helmet under my arm.

I found out that in springtime, the Myna birds will swoop, but the Magpies will swoop and peck your bike helmet, if you are riding. Maybe seeing bright shiny ovals moving fast below them somehow looks like an animal that can hurt their eggs. I was told that birds won't attack if they think they are being looked at. A guy I work with said his sister put big googly eyes on her helmet, and the birds have left her alone. Today Darcy and I rode our bikes to a friends, so I drew eyes. Here is Darcy's helmet:

He just wanted 2 eyes.

Here is mine:

I never want to be attacked by a bird again.

I'm Grumpy

I started a new job this week - the vampire movie. So far, it's been good. I know in a month it will be intense and I will once again wonder if I should do something else for a living. But for now, I am setting people on fire (digitally) and it's fun.

But...

There is no decent place around the office to get lunch, and now that we are again carless I have not had time or provisions to prepare lunch, so I am eating sandwiches from a sandwich shop near work. I have never been into sandwiches, to be honest. There are a few I like - ruebens, peanut butter and jelly, hamburgers, but as a lunch to eat every day, no thanks. I feel bloated after I eat one. Anyway, I was on my way to the sandwich place with my co-workers for lunch, when a big bird poop dropped on me. It landed on my favorite shirt, splattering a yellowish green goo, then fell on my pants, my arm, my leg and my foot - I was wearing sandals. ewwww! I said, "oh gross, a bird just pooped on me!" And what was the first thing all my co-workers said, almost in unison? "That's good luck!"

I KNOW it's considered good luck, but jeez it sure doesn't feel like it! Who came up with that anyway? Bird poop is good luck; yah right. I have had birds poop on me a few times in my life, and I would hate to think of the life I would have led had they not pooped on me. I looked up into the tree, and saw 2 lorikeets, staring me down. I could even see a smirk on their beaks. It made me grumpy, though I kept it to myself. I just started the job; don't want to be difficult. But then I ate a sandwich and my stomach started twisting and stabbing and bloated out while I sat in on a meeting, with a big green poop stain on my favorite shirt, going through shots, talking about how this skin has to melt and this hair has to burn and the fire needs to blow here and her hand will fall off here...oh man, I was soo uncomfortable. No more sandwiches for me.

Goodbye

to Pavarotti. He was an amazing opera singer. I think he would give even a person who does not like opera goosebumps when he sang. RIP

Just An Update

It's been another rainy week, and I really like it. The wind blows strong, and the rain doesn't stop pouring down in varying strengths. It's supposed to end this weekend.

I know this sounds weird, but when there is a rainy spell, the thought of a sunny day scares me. Isn't that strange? Maybe it's because for the past 5 years I've been living in places where the sun shines 90% of the time, and the land is dry. When it rains, it always feels like a gift, because we need it so much, and when the sun threatens to return, I get nervous thinking of everything being sunny and bright, and you can see everything so clearly, and you're supposed to have high energy all the time, and everyone is in your face. Does this sound crazy? So be it.

That being said, last Sunday was a sunny day, and we went to the beach. We went to a place an hour south of here, on the Gold Coast, which I have always thought of as a cheesy, empty suburban wasteland that somehow got created on the beautiful shores of Australia. There is that element to it, and unfortunately before Sunday that was all I had experienced. But now I know there is more; there are small little neighborhoods and some bushland, and beautiful water. We went swimming and hung out a bit. I really enjoyed it. I am looking forward to doing it again sometime soon.

Last Thursday we went to a comedy club because I thought both of us could use some laughs. Thankfully, most of it was pretty funny. The comedians were all men, all Aussie, and just like home they started with the crappiest comedian and worked their way up to the funniest one. But in my opinion, they should have had the second and third acts switched - the second act was much funnier. He was a neurotic self-deprecating guy who worked for his father in the moving business. The third act was one of those duos with a guitar who tell jokes tag-team style and sing "funny" songs. You know what I'm talking about. Everyone made jokes about crazy ex-girlfriends, 9/11, masturbation, the red-neck culture in Australia, a crazy relative, vegetarians and vegans, and not being attractive. But, most of it was funny. We both went home smiling.

The APEC conference has begun in Sydney. Asia-Pacific-Economic Conference. George Bush landed the night before last, with more fanfare and security and media coverage than the Queen, which says something in a Commonwealth country. In the Central Business District of Sydney, they have fenced off a 5km diameter area, and within that another area, around the Sydney Opera House. While the conference is being held, civilians are not allowed into the inner sanctum, and people who have to work in the first fenced in area must go through security. There are snipers everywhere, and protesters are not allowed to demonstrate anywhere near it. Some demonstrators are on police lists and have been told they will be arrested if spotted near the conference area. All demonstrators have been discouraged from protesting with the threat of a police force with new, broader powers. People here have mixed reactions. I understand the need for security from say, terrorists, as we have the US President here, and he is not very popular, but it seems somehow illegal to prevent demonstrators from gathering and voicing their opinions and to do so peacefully. On a radio call-in show I listened to last night, a woman who works in the Sydney CBD said she was glad the security was there, and she thought it was an opportunity to show Sydney to the world, and put them on the map. I don't know if encircling its CBD in high security fencing and peppering armed police around its beaches is a good way to show Sydney to the world.

I checked the New York Times today, and the LA Times, to see if the APEC was getting as much media coverage and controversy as here. I didn't find a single article on the websites. Were there any in the physical papers?

Tomorrow is my last day of the TV job. Next Monday starts the vampire movie. I have been feeling really really really really tired. Darcy keeps saying to me, you look so tired! He thinks maybe I am lacking in iron. I don't know. I ain't no vegetarian, that's for sure.