Offset, Offput

I have something to say about this "offset" business. I am talking about this idea being introduced into the "dialogue" about global warming, where you do things to offset your destructive lifestyle, like buy "greentags" that give money to green energy development and what not. Or if you are a moviestar, you "offset" all the pollution you create buy flying everywhere with planting lots of trees, or paying people to plant lots of trees.

It is not that I am against people doing things for the good of the environment. But I do not like the concept of offsetting what you do with something else. It seems to me that it gives people permission, in their heads, to keep on doing whatever it is they are doing that is destructive, because they are doing this other thing. How about people learn to STOP their destructive ways or do what they have to do in a different way, and at the same time plant trees or build solar water heaters or whatever it is that they can afford to do?

And I am sick of famous people telling us how great they are about the environment. I am sure some are, but in truth I'd say famous people consume more crap than unfamous. They own more cars, and also get driven more places without giving anyone else a lift. They buy more clothing, more crap for their HOMESSSSSS, take more holidays around the world, and get more beauty treatments and hair treatments than the rest of us. They consume more bottled water. I know, they OFFSET it by giving away money. But what if they didn't own all their crap, and didn't flit about so much? Would so much money into "research" be needed?

And who judges the value of an offset gesture against a destructive behavior? Does putting solar panels on your house really have the counter weight of driving when you don't need to, buying more tupperware, or getting your hair bleached and blonde every 3 weeks? How can you even compare them?

There are indeed somethings we can not really change if we want to do our jobs and live in our homes. And I know there are some things we are going to do, though we know they are bad for the environment, and don't worry - I am fully including myself when I say "we" - but the concept of offsetting behavior sounds very lazy to me. I feel it is more constructive, and positive, to think about a change in our minds, in how we live, that will improve the environment. Can we examine what is driving us, and is it important? If we stop consuming this or that, if we shop a little less, if we think about what we put in our mouths, as well as planting trees and getting electric companies to provide green energy and using less paper products and clean with plant based soaps, etc., won't that make some changes? Eh; I don't know.

If you wanted to stop eating meat but still get protein, soy was the way to go. Now soy is the number one crop destroying the rainforests, not cattle farming. So what do you eat? Eat your beans I guess. No more soymilk, tofutti cuties, tofu-pups, and vegiburgers to make you feel good about yourself.

I guess going to a supermarket in general is pretty bad for the environment. It pushes out local farmers who can't produce the volume, therefore can't charge competitive prices, and as a result produce gets shipped in from far away, in places where land is taxed in its need to produce more and faster. And, supermarkets have shelves and shelves of processed, chemically created foods. Junk food is bad for the environment. It's all chemicals, and put in plastic packaging. And we eat it!

And yet, I don't feel like to try and change my behavior is futile. Because, at worst, if one can eliminate the crap from life, and the need to buy lots of stupid things, doesn't one become a happier person?

When I am away from home, sometimes I think about what I brought with me, and what I left behind. I can never remember all the things I own. I am often tempted to call a friend, and say "thanks for picking up my mail - can you also send all my things to the Salvation Army?"

Yeah, yeah - none of this is new, but the offsetting concept pisses me off. So do ads of Cate Blanchett for how she is doing her part for the environment on one page, then convincing you to buy a 12 step skin care regimen in another. I can't get more specific, it's just that I saw that one day in a magazine and it ticked me off.

I am trying to consume less. It is really hard sometimes, but when I want to go out and buy stuff, I am starting to think about it more. And I end up not doing it. I still want to, but the feeling fades.

I wish I wanted to consume less wine, and less ice cream. I am waiting for those desires to fade. When will they fade? OH when!!!!????!!!???

A Favorable Theatre Review

It was my birthday, and as a gift Darcy bought tickets for us to see Dame Edna, who has a new show she's touring the big Australian cities with. It was fantastic. I saw Dame Edna years ago on Broadway, and though extremely funny, to see the character in a genuine Australian context felt like a true privilege.

Dame Edna, for those who don't know her, is a character developed by a Melbourne actor named Barry Humphries, in the 1950's. She wears lavish outfits, has blue hair, and rhinestone specks. Her style is to connect with her audience, single out a few, get to know them a bit, then relate her own experiences to theirs, making the person feel very special with her unsaid insults. It keeps the whole audience laughing non-stop.

The amazing thing about the character is that she manages to convey such a genuine warmth, that you feel like Barry Humphries is somehow celebrating the people he is teasing in the Dame Edna character. It is really brilliant. Everyone is laughing, including the people on stage. It is wonderful.

He has another character, named Les Patterson, who plays an old Australian politician, and it makes you laugh, and your stomach turn. He carries a drink, has big teeth, and the rosy cheeks of an alcoholic. He is in perpetual inebriation, so when he talks and regales you with randy adventures and funny anecdotes about his colleagues, he is spewing fat rays of saliva, and dripping bits unknowingly down his stained, ill-fitting suit.

The third character of the evening was named Sandy, I think, an old man who is living in a government funded aged care facility, and tells you about his ex-wife, his past, and life at the old folks home. It is sad, funny, and clearly something to think about.

The show was just the best gift. I was really happy. Darcy was too. We just sat afterward, in a bar, drinking wine and thinking about the show. It gave so much to think about, and so much to laugh about at the same time. Barry Humphries is truly gifted. And my husband is a wonderful man. I am hoping that this positive theatrical experience makes him feel encouraged to check out more theatre with me. Or concerts. Or dance. You know, more culture stuff. That's one of the good things about living in a city. That and all the movie stars walking around everywhere.

Unfavorable Theatre Review

Saturday we went to see a one woman show at the Powerhouse Theatre. It is an old electric factory on the river converted into a performance space, with a small gallery, restaurant, and bar. It is a great building, and it's right on the river. Darcy was my date, though I know he would have preferred to stay at home and watch rugby or something. But, my friend Angela was working and so he was it. I was excited to see this show. It was called "Amy Lamé and the Mama Cass Singers". The promotional poster was great. It had Amy Lamé, who is quite a big lass, posed a là Mama Cass, surrounded by daisies, one in her hair, and one on her foot. It was supposed to be about how she, as a youth, was in this band with her siblings called The Mama Cass Family Singers, and they were all fat, and famous.

This show has been around to all the festivals, had good press, and cost $29.00AUD for less than an hour of theatre. The woman is intelligent, and put some work into it. The theatre space is SO beautiful that just looking at it gives you ideas.

And she had such a good idea! The premise is that she grew up in this fat New Jersey family, she is the oldest of 4, and shows you photos of the family, their Thanksgiving meals, and just how overweight they are, and how they like their food. Then after going into detail about the food she'd eaten, she tells you that one day, she and her siblings were sitting in JC Penny, eating at their cafeteria, and they all get kidnapped, and for 3 years become this famous group, the Mama Cass Family Singers, and travel the country. Then one day, the woman who kidnapped them has a breakdown, and drops them off at JC Penny's, and their father picks them up, no questions asked, and they resume their lives. She has interviews of all the siblings, and her mother and father, and you find out that Mama Cass was their kidnapper, that she had faked her death (which was not by ham sandwich, by the way) to get away from the limelight, and decided she wanted to get back into show business under a new persona.

At the end of the show, Amy tells you that Mama Cass finally died, in Florida, at a Nursing Home, and in her will had left Amy the big caftan she wore at the Monterrey Music Festival, the last show the Mamas and the Papas ever played. Amy holds it up, and it is big and ugly. Amy says she has forgiven Mama for everything she did, but does NOT forgive her for wearing the caftan, and making fat women ashamed of themselves. And then she passes out small tomato cheese sandwiches, and that's the end.

With that kind of synopsis, you would think, man what a funny show. How could it have been bad? But the synopsis is about as deep and explained as the show got. You do not know to any great depth what the kidnapped years were like, why they didn't try to escape, or how they felt that their parents made seemingly NO attempts to find them. You do not know how she feels about being fat, as she makes no connection to the fatness and the story, despite the fact that she has all these sandwiches on stage and hands them out in the end, and opens the show describing all the fattening foods she liked to eat in New Jersey. And, after you find out she was kidnapped, you don't feel like something bad happened, or good, or even funny. You are just waiting for her to give the reason why she is telling you this. But in the end, it seemed pointless.

I was really disappointed. It's 3 days later and I am still thinking about it, and feeling bummed out. I don't know why I am so bummed out, but I am. Great idea like that, all for nothing! She has had success on the gay and lesbian festival circuit, so I am guessing it the show does well during Pride, or in P-town, late at night, in some small space, when people are tired and drunk and don't quite have it all there.

The next day, I had naively looked up "The Mama Cass Family Singers", to see what about the show was true. There was nothing about the group ever really existing, just reviews about Amy's show. And I looked up Mama Cass, and she had not died in Florida, but in London, of heart failure. And she didn't die choking on a ham sandwich, as had been stated. Then I felt stupid that I believed Mama Cass could manage a bunch of kids to fame and fortune and no one would recognize her.

The fact that the whole thing had been made up was annoying, because it was too shallow to have been worth telling. It didn't make you laugh, or feel for her, or anything. It wasn't interesting enough, which is why I wondered about why she did the show in the first place. The whole thing was a drag. And when I mention it to Darcy he gets really pissed off. I think it made him angrier, like someone wasted his time, when it could have been better spent drinking wine, watching guys on tv kick a ball and get injured. I agree about the wine part. We had some after the show.

The best part of that outing was that since The Powerhouse is on the river, we took the ferry there. I love that. We walk down to the river, hop on a ferry, and 30 minutes later, we are at the theatre dock. How cool is that?

Life Goes On

My job ended last week, and we had a long weekend to celebrate the Queen's birthday. It wasn't actually the Queen's birthday. They just pick a day that is based on proximity to her birthday, i believe, but they make it a Monday so people have a long weekend. I don't think anyone knows her true birthday. Well, no one I have met. They all just say, "I'm glad she's got one - I don't have to go to work - WAHOO" and other words that convey that sentiment. Darcy hates public holidays. It just means that the places he usually has to contact to do his work are closed, and the places he normally frequents are now full of people and instead of being quiet because everyone is at work. It's not such a biggie in Brisbane, because a lot of people leave town for long weekends here, so it's not as crowded as it could be. We rode our bikes along the river, found a spot, stopped, sat there, read books, goofed off. Then it got cool and dark, because it's winter here, so we got back on our bikes and rode home. Then, we watched Brokeback Mountain on DVD, because we'd rented it.

I liked it. It was very sad. The characters were complex and well acted. I know I am talking about a film WAY AFTER it matters to people, but it is still good. The Heath Ledger character was more of a mystery, as he seemed to only be attracted to the Jake Gyllenhal character, and no one else, really. But Jake Gyllenhal's character was gay. If only they'd known how close they were to San Francisco! They could have moved to some area outside of San Fran, had a farm, lived together, been happy as could be. It was the 70's. They could have done it. But I guess life isn't as simple as that. I know it isn't. Nope.

Life is uneventful these days. Trying to drum up more work, but trying to avoid leaving Brisbane for it. I think about returning to Sydney, or going to another place, and not having Darcy with me, and I become really depressed. I really don't want to be away from the person I moved here for. On the other hand, I really want to do my job. I need to earn a good living. The debt is going down, but slowly, as the Australian dollar is worth about 84 US cents. Anyway, for now I am not working.

It has actually become a bit cold here in Brisbane. At night it gets down to 45˚F (8˚C), and in the day it is about 65˚F. For a subtropical place, that is chilly. We live in a wood house that is the old typical style of the area. I don't know why houses were made like this here, though. They manage to keep the inside of the house at the opposite temperature that you want. In the summer they keep nice and hot inside, and now that it is winter, you can leave milk out on the counter and it will stay cold all day. Now I know why everyone in Brisbane seems to be moving to ultra modern apartment buildings and townhouses. They're sick of living in these ant/termite infested wooden boxes that keep you physically uncomfortable. We're going to look for another place to live.

Tonight is game two of STATE OF ORIGIN, the Rugby league series between New South Wales and Queensland. The last game was a few weeks ago, and Queensland won. Darcy, being from New South Wales, was really upset. I, being from the United States, had no preference, though clearly Queensland played a far stronger game. I don't know if I will stick around for this one tonight. I may do something very unblokey instead, like go to a yoga class.

doodleedoo

Since my last entry, there has been nothing exciting to tell. I am writing now because it has become a habit, and since it seems a good one, I'll keep it going.

The place I am working at is still a nice place. I have made a couple of dumb mistakes, because there are some new things to think about with flat screen TVs that I had not had to deal with before. As a result, I made a few titles the wrong size. I felt really bad about it - why have I not had to deal with the flat screen TV thing as of yet? oh well.

They have me on a night shift. It is meant to be 3pm - 11pm, which is OK, I suppose. It's better than 6 -2, or 5-1. It wears me out a little though. After 8, I discovered, I don't care about things as much as I did before 8. I still do the work, but I am waiting for the remaining time to pass, as opposed to working in the day time, in which the time just seems to fly, and I enjoy myself. It would be good to get a daytime gig here, but they don't need a full-time person. Also, the work is not all that challenging. It's OK. So far, there isn't anything that I would put on a reel. But, at the same time, it's great to work and go home at the end of a shift, and get paid decently, and enjoy the people around you. I have one more week here, and then we shall see what happens next.

I started going to a gym again, as my erratic schedule has made going to yoga classes difficult, and I want to move around. The gym is small, and a short walking distance from my house. Angela recommended it to me, because she has started going there, though we have yet to meet up. When it's busy, it's still not too busy. You don't wait to get on a machine or anything like that. And it's clean. They have classes too, but early morning or early evening, so I can't quite make them. So, I just use the machines, and do my own thing. The people that work there are super friendly, and remember every one's name. The manager is a woman named Kelly, a very slim, pretty woman who calls everyone "darl", pronounced "dahl" in Australia. It's short for Darling, I found out. I thought people were calling me Doll, like "hi there, Dollface". But it is short for Darling. Anyhoo, I like it.

In Sydney, there was a sandwich place down the street from where I was working that was a neighborhood corner shop, owned and run by a real nice local woman, and she seemed to like me. She would tell me if my hair looked nice, if she liked my outfit, and that she liked the way I spoke. Mick and I went there for lunch almost everyday, and she always gave us free french fries. She called each of us "darl". Mick told me it was short for darling, and I was a little disappointed at first, admittedly, that she wasn't saying "doll". It sounds more old timey new yorkey, "doll". But, it was still nice to say, especially from a woman who just decided she liked me. I wouldn't want to be on her bad side though. One day, when I had brought my lunch, Mick went to the sandwich place alone and told me that she was telling him how her boyfriend has been "naughty", so she slashed his tires! He must have been pretty naughty. I think she is a tough woman. I liked her though.

Today is Sunday, so I am doing things to get ready for the work week: laundry, and staring into space, contemplating the human experience. Tonight, at Darcy's request, I am making lasagna al forno. I made it a few times last winter, and it turned out really well, considering I had never made a beschamel sauce before. I grew up making lasagna without beschamel sauce. We used ricotta cheese, and tomato sauce. I made the version I was accustomed to, and Darcy liked both, but seems to prefer the fat rich, no ricotta lasagna al forno the best. No problemo. I will have something to bring to work for dinner.

You know, I am tired of thinking about making money. Aren't you? Let's think about something else. I no longer want to think about money, and can I make some, and how can I keep on doing it, and love what I do while I make money. This world we have made, we humans, seems all about this. Yesterday I was "at the shops", getting a few gifties and what-not, and saw heaps of books about success, and making money, and managing your time, and finding happiness. Also of course that big one, "The Secret". We are looking to everyone else to give us answers. We need to make up our own answers to things. I wish to elaborate, but I have not the energy right now. You know what I mean, right?

We don't have a sofa in our house. We have a few uncomfortable chairs. We need a sofa.

I miss my friends.

I like scented soaps. Especially ones that smell like flowers.

I just finished reading these funny travel books, about this man who moved to the Kiribati islands in the Pacific, and then to Vanuatu and Fiji on a later adventure. The Kiribati islands are on an atoll, which is a big coral reef, in the middle of the ocean. On a map, they register as tiny specks of land. A favorite pastime of mine has been looking through the atlas and wondering about places that seem far away from everyone else, like Baffin Island, or the West of Argentina, or those little specks in the Pacific Ocean. After reading these books, I looked at the atolls on Google Earth. They sure are small. I want to go to one. My website, aguilera.tv gets its .tv from Tuvalu, a group of islands and atolls in the Pacific. They sold their domain to Network solutions, to make some money. I thought originally they were controlling it, and I imagined a group of IT people with dark skin and long hair wearing sarongs and drinking coconut milk, scripting under a palm tree. But, this is not the case. Maybe it's for the best. I want to go to Tuvalu. Darcy wants to go to Fiji. I'll go to Fiji. Sure. Yup.