I'll write again when I've got something good to tell you. Right now, there's nothing good. Nothing is good.

Thanks For The Offer, Universe! I'll Take It!

Someone sent a comment to my last entry with very sweet words of encouragement. I don't know who you are, but thank you. You made me feel good!

So, the Universe answered me with work last Friday. Thank you thank you thank you. I was a bartender for a reggae music festival. It took place at a sporting club in Davies Park, where the markets are held every Saturday. It is an old grungy place with 2 floors, and a stage on each floor, and a bar on each floor, and a verandah looking out under nice big trees onto a rugby field, and volleyball courts. The guy who hired me got my name through Angela (yay Angela!) a few weeks ago, and I never expected to hear from him. He asked me to come and work, never asked for a resume, can I do it, etc - just asked me if I would. Angela was also supposed to work that night too, so I was happy. I get some work, and I can work with a friend! We went together, and when we arrived we found out we were the only ones working! We had to work the bar on the top floor of the place. Jim, the guy who manages the place and hired us, said it wouldn't be that busy, and it would be a good night for me, since it was my first time working there.

But the place was mad!!! It was busy like a real bar is busy! I had to be a real bartender! We did not have any beer taps, but we had bottled beer, and wine, and liquor. I had to make mixed drinks! Things were slow from 7:30 - 8:30, but then - BAM - there was a huge crowd of people, and we were non-stop until 1am. It really never stopped. I could see the swarm of people from behind the bar, and wondered if we could really serve them all, was it humanly possible? Well, I guess it was because at the end of the night everyone seemed drunk. We were actually understaffed, but between Angela and I working the bar and Jim working the bar and keeping us stocked, we scraped by. I didn't do too badly as a bartender. People came back to me requesting the same drinks, so I figured it must mean that I was making them decently. I even got tips, though in Australia you don't tip waitstaff or barstaff, because they get paid a real wage. I was able to have a taste of what bartending is like. It is full on, hard work. But you can do it with a smile on your face, because you are just giving people drinks.

There is a drink here that I had never heard of, and was very lucky that Angela taught me how to make it before things got busy. It is called a Lemon-Lime with Bitters. Have you ever heard of it? Well, I hadn't, but it's a good one to know, and it tastes good too. It is: ice in a glass, line bottom with a light coat of bitters, then a splash of Lime Cordial, then fill to the top with "Lemonade". It is a well balanced, tasty drink and an excellent alternative to alcohol if you're not drinking. Hold a glass of this and no one gives you a hard time or acts uncomfortable because you are not drinking. I thought it was a funny drink for Angela to teach me, but she saved my ass big time because people ordered a lot of those things, or they ordered that drink with vodka in it. I don't know if we would have that in the States. We have Shirley Temples, but I don't know exactly what those are made out of, because I have never had one.

Here in the supermarket, you can buy these things called cordials, and they are flavored lemon, lime, raspberry, and maybe some other flavors I have not seen. I may be sounding very ignorant for thinking I need to explain what a cordial is to you, but, I have a rather unsophisticated knowledge of stuff. But anyway, cordial is basically a heavy sugar syrup with flavoring that you mix with water for kids, or with soda water and alcohol and bitters for adults. It is like Zarex syrup - remember that stuff? Like if Kool Aid came in a liquid form. And it comes in a fancy bottle, and has one of those pourer spouts put in it, like you put in spirit bottles, so you can pour it smoothly. And you don't pronounce it like when you use the word cordial to mean polite, "corjul" - you pronounce it the way you would if you were learning it phonetically - core-dee-ull. Trust me. I learned the hard way. First, when a person ordered a drink at the bar from me, I would not understand what the customer was saying, because they would use some cutesy shortened lingo for whatever it is they want, as is the Australian way of speaking. Then when I would repeat what I thought they said for clarification, they would not understand me. It made a few people angry, as I expected, but most people didn't care, and then when they came back to the bar I would understand them. Oh - also, here, lemonade is a sweet, artificial, carbonated drink, and it is made by Schweppes, and sold where you buy ginger ale and tonic water. I was shocked to discover that lemonade here isn't really lemonade. It made me sad. But, anyway, it is the lemon part of a drink requiring lemonade. Real lemonade would make it taste very different. But actually, it would probably taste really good. But you would miss the fizz.

Pre-mixed drinks in a can are popular here too. I had one once, and it was ok. But sometimes, throughout the night, people would ask me for a bourbon, and they meant the Jim Beam and Coke cans, not a bourbon on the rocks or straight, and they would get annoyed that I didn't know what they meant. And then when someone actually wanted a bourbon, they were horrified that I would give them a pre-mixed can, and when I asked people if a bourbon meant a can or a bourbon, no matter the answer they were annoyed that I didn't know what they meant. Oh, take off your precious pants and answer the question! I'm the bartender here! And why are you wanting a premixed rum and coke when you can have a fresh one for the same price? Barbarians.

The bands were good. They were Australian and New Zealand bands. Lots of white people with dreadlocks, but they were ok. Some were actually nice. I may have to re-examine my staunch view of white people with dreads, and take them on more of an individual basis. Everyone was dancing, and got really stoned before they had even arrived.

At the end of the night, my husband was so kind and picked up me and Angela. I got to bed by 3, I think, and then was up by 8, because I am in the early habit now.

We went to the beach on an overnight camping trip. It was great. We went 2 hours north of Brisbane, to a place called Peregian Beach. The town is tiny, and people seem normal there. By normal I am not sure what I mean exactly, except that I guess I feel comfortable there. We stayed at a small campground across the street from the little town shopping area, and the beach. There were not good conditions for longboard surfing (again), but it was nice to be in the water. I was happy to be away at the beach with my husband, without having to visit anyone or meet anybody or fulfill any obligations or be anything but myself, even if it was just overnight. We have not been away, just the two if us, just for fun, since I arrived in Australia. Peregian Beach itself is pretty, and there is a little Farmers market there on Sundays. And LOTS of kids. And little dogs. Cute. I hope we do another little semi-honeymoon thing at Peregian Beach soon. It was a spirit-lifter.

So is the phone call I got from a little fancy supermarket, opening up in the West End soon, looking for help. I have an interview with them tomorrow!

I have been really depressed, as I am sure you gathered from me telling you repeatedly. As a result, for the past 2 weeks I hadn't had any alcohol, because I knew it would make me feel worse. But Saturday night, at Peregian beach, Darcy and I shared a bottle of Champagne. We were celebrating him getting out of credit card debt. It was fun, but then we watched a rugby game at the pub and had 2 more glasses of wine and then the next morning I was really suffering. We had a good time though.

I enjoyed our little trip so much that I forgot to take a photo to prove it really happened. Next time.

I am glad that there finally seems to be some movement in my existence here, even if it isn't my ideal. It's still good. I'm grateful.

Thank You

Thank you Universe. I have one night of catering work this evening. I am happy.

Please Give Me A Job

Universe, please give me a job.

I need a job. I need to make money. I am low on dough. I am always home. I have few friends. My husband works from home, and we spend a LOT of time together. I hate not working. Everyone here thinks I am not doing enough to get work. Everyone has suggestions that you feel obligated to follow. My resume has been redone to be more friendly, but I am being rejected at every encounter. I apply for work in person and over the internet everyday. Nada. I applied for Flame work in Copenhagen - I don't care anymore, just give me some work please. FX companies don't seem to want me. My husband is holding his tongue, and I KNOW it. I feel guilty that I am not working. I feel angry that I can't get work in this place. I am running out of ideas; I am running out of everything to keep going. PLEASE HELP ME.

Ask the Universe for help, and it supposedly helps you.

Then comes the retort, "oooooo watch out what you wish for because you just may get it" and then I'll get some horrible job that I will feel compelled to do because I am so desperate.

Aw man screw it, please help me in a genuine way, just throw me a bone, would you. I really need help.

Thank you in advance,

Your Friend,

Alicia

Tell Me Something Good

There is a cat in the neighborhood that has taken a shine to us. Darcy and I both have mixed feelings. It started hanging around in front our house last week. It is handsome and soft and loves to be pet, but we don't know where it's been and what is living off of it. Also, I don't want the responsibility of a cat, then grow attached to it, then have to leave it. Been there, done that, won't do it again. I think it is the neighbors' cat, but with very lax ownership. It came to us, I believe, when the neighbors went away for a couple of days. It makes the worst meow you can hear. It starts low, then it's pitch goes up a few octaves for a 5-to-10 second sustained meow. The cat is not ill, or in pain. This is the sound it has learned to make, being a cat on the street. It gets results. I bought some food to feed it so it will shut up.

I do like the cat, minus the sound it makes. Darcy does too. You can't help liking an affectionate cat. And it doesn't always hang out in front. Sometimes it's next door, or away on some adventure.

Last night we went to see The Socceroos, the Australian national soccer team. They played Paraguay, in an International friendly game.

We had great seats. We got box seats, so we had a perfect view of the whole game, and could almost read the names on the players jerseys.

It is so fun to see sports live. Even if you are not crazy for a particular sport, you can at least appreciate it when you see it live. I like soccer, and to see it live was really cool. You can see their fancy footwork, and just how much running they have to do. Darcy was thrilled because he loves The Socceroos, and was happy to see the players live - they are famous, and all play on the European teams, so it's a rarity to see them here.

I looked for jobs this past week. The FX company that insisted it would need me around this time of course does NOT need me. So, I made a new, nice looking resume, and hit the streets. It sucked. No one wanted to hire me. I was even handed back my resume by a woman who basically lied to me and said she didn't need people, though clearly she did. Her employees had told me the day before that she was looking for someone. That was why I went back the next day to see her. It was a chocolate shop. I went to some bookshops and they told me they had just hired a bunch of people, and a few people told me they were looking for someone younger. It is very defeating to be rejected all day, and to know that you can do whatever job they have, but they do not want you. The last place I left my resume was at a copy shop. The woman behind the desk actually glanced at my resume before talking to me about my availability, and made a positive comment about my experience. That was encouraging. Maybe I will hear from that place soon? Hard to believe, yet also hard not to be hopeful.

The lack of job has affected me greatly. Not being able to hold up my end of the rent makes me feel useless. I also don't want to see anyone we know because I don't want to tell them I am still not working. I know people are telling each other what they think is wrong with me, and what I should be doing. I figure, out of sight, out of mind. I'll socialize when I feel like I have something positive to say.

The only person I don't mind seeing is Saul. I don't get the feeling he is judging me, and we can talk about lots of things that have nothing to do with me being a loser.

Oh - I also don't mind talking to Angela. She and I just met, so I have only been an unemployed cast away to her for a couple of weeks. OK and the same with Hyejin. She is just happy to have friends who she knows she can depend on for the next 3 months.

I want there to be change. They say, everything happens in its time. Well, I say, the time is NOW. I want some checks to put in the bank.

The Dalai Lama's Instructions for Life are good instructions. And they got me thinking: I've got some of my own pearls of wisdom, or at least some suggestions to chew on. Here are some of Alicia's Instructions For Life:

1. Put on some music and dance around your house often.

2. Read, watch, or listen to something or someone that makes you laugh. Every day.

3. If you have the ability to walk, take a little walk every day.

4. Even if you are not interested, attempt to learn a little about world, national and local events. They affect you and the people around you.

5. A clean kitchen and bathroom makes a home feel comfortable.

6. Give your attention to the person who is speaking to you.

7. If you want to cry, let yourself cry. Tears are meant to be released.

8. Don't hold in a sneeze.

9. Don't drink alcohol if you are feeling depressed.

10. Take care of your teeth. Plaque in the mouth eventually becomes plaque in the arteries.

11. Eat any food you like at anytime you like - don't be restricted to conventions. For example, I eat ice cream for breakfast. Hyejin, being from Korea, likes to eat rice, seaweed, and kimchi for breakfast. She weighs a lot less than I do.

12. Don't let fear stop you from being generous to others.


These are some of my rules. Some had some time put into them, others were a bit hasty, but I like them.

I invite you to come up with some rules, and send them to me. If you put them in my comments, they will be shown there. If you email them, I will put them in my next entry.

Things are fine. For me.

I did meet 2 people at the Brisbane Writers' Festival with whom I have made friends, I think. One person is a woman named Angela. She is 34, and in her second year at University, studying philosophy, after spending many years as an advocate for the rights of mental health patients. She is Australian. The other person is a 22 year old Korean girl named Hyejin. She is also a University student, but in Soeul, and here for a 3 month student working holiday. She stopped by the Information Booth where Angela and I were working. Her English was, at best, poor, but she was friendly and brave, and simply said to us, "I want you to be my friend", then took out a pen and paper and asked us to give her our emails and phone numbers. We got together for lunch about a week later, and though communication is not easy, we had a nice time together, and I felt so good to be socializing with people with whom I was on my own terms.

I got a call from Hyejin on Thursday night. She left a message on my phone. In her broken English I gathered that she had cut her finger while training to work in a Chinese restaurant, they kicked her out, and she needed money to pay for the doctors, and would I go to the restaurant with her and explain? She sounded as if she was crying, and the next day Angela and I met her near the restaurant. As soon as she sat down, she started shaking and crying. Her finger had a bunch of band aids on it. I felt so bad for her, but wondered what would have happened to put her in this state. After she calmed down, she was able to tell us what happened. It was different from what I had gathered on the phone. She was told by the manager of this restaurant that he would train her to work for him, but first she had to go buy a uniform and shoes, and call him in 4 days' time. She bought the uniform and shoes, and called him. He told her he was too busy, and to call the following week. She did, and he was on vacation. The person she spoke with told her to come in to train, and she would train with someone else. When she arrived, the person she was supposed to train with was angry that she had come (? - I am guessing she was not told Hyejin was coming). Hyejin was supposed to have 3 hours' training. After an hour the woman told her to go home, and if they were going hire her, they would call. Hyejin was very upset, because she knew they were dismissing her, after having strung her along, and making her buy a uniform and shoes that now she can not return as she had used them for an hour in the restaurant, and no doubt they were dirty.

Hyejin went back some days later and asked the manager for an apology, to which he yelled at her and told her to get out of the restaurant. As she walked out she pushed a laminated sign that was near the door. When she did that, the manager grabbed her and tried to pull her back into the restaurant by her bag, then her arm. He ripped her bag completely open, split her finger wide open with his sharp fingernails (gross thing to have - sharp fingernails) and grabbed her arm so hard that he left a big bruise. She got away, but the whole incident made her angry and scared. She then went to the police station around the corner, and the cop she spoke with told her there was nothing he could do. She has travelers insurance, and they told her that she needed to get information from the manager in order to get them to pay her doctor bill. So then she called us.

I am naive. I had limited experience with police, and in all honesty, it has not been bad. As a college student in Boston, the police arrived and were decent to me the few times I needed them. New York City Police I always found to be approachable and human. LAPD I just stayed away from because they have a bad reputation, so why test it. We told Hyejin we would go back to the Police Station with her and file a report, because this man cannot be allowed to bully young foreigners and take advantage of their situation. At least, an official police report would enable her to get money from her insurance company without dealing with the restaurant again.

We got to the police station, and 2 fat, cynical policeman told us that there was no point to filing a report, as Hyejin was only here for a few months, it takes for the system to look at her case at least a year, and the judge wouldn't even look at it anyway, since it was so minor, and it would be too much work for them, too much paperwork. Angela was good. She spoke to them in a very nice, but persistent way, and we were there for an hour, trying to convince them to at least file a report anyway. They told us, without saying so directly, that even if we filed the paperwork, they wouldn't submit it anyway. And sadly, because of the system, that is the way it is.

Brisbane has an enormous population of foreign University students, paying full tuition in addition to their other expenses, and working in restaurants. Also, like the United States, there exists a large immigrant workforce doing the jobs that Australians won't do, legally and illegally. If a foreign traveler is here for less than a year, essentially the police were telling us that employers, or anyone, had the right to do anything they want to these people, short of murder or anything that will get in the paper, and there is no accountability. Hyejin was clearly shaken and hurt, but the police were not interested in the least. They did not even say, "that's terrible", or condemn the restaurant in anyway. It was a very cynical and disheartening experience. They barely acknowledged Hyejin when they spoke, and after an hour of us being there and asking them to consider her position, and the idea that people can just be taken advantage of and the police can't offer protection, they said they would walk around the corner with us and take down the restaurant's information, and the next day they would go to the restaurant and just scare the restaurant guy a little (since they were an hour and a half away from the end of their shift, so god knows they did not have time now). The scare tactic, they have found, was enough even though the threats they give actually aren't real, as they can't do anything anyway, "because of the system".

So, Hyejin, if she had not met us, would have no one in her corner here. She seemed calmed by the fact that we were there, and tried to do something for her, and basically felt for her. We walked her to her doctor, explained and wrote down for her what she had to explain, and arranged to meet later this week.

It all made me very sad, and made me feel very different about this country. I learned that as a traveler, you'd better be careful, because even if you have the legal right to work here, it doesn't mean you are protected. Also, if the police threaten you with legal action, chances are they are bluffing. And, they fit the image we have of policemen in the US: fat and lazy.

Hyejin is ok. She actually went to a Korean doctor, and I think the ability to communicate easily calmed her down. The doctor is helping her with the insurance company, so she doesn't have to go back to the restaurant, which Angela and I strongly suggested she stay away from.

If you ever are in Brisbane, number one - I hope it is to visit me; and number two - do NOT eat at China House. They don't deserve it.

I am back to finding any old job. I am over feeling bad for myself.